How to know if a man is depressed

Updated 12 months ago on April 03, 2023

1. Bad mood

Everyone can be in a bad mood. Things can go wrong in the morning, it happens. A healthy person will calmly survive unpleasant moments. If a man is depressed, small troubles can knock him out for a long time. Anger, fatigue, lack of appetite, or even physical pain can set in. Irritation can drag on all day long.

Chronic stress and super-speeding work often leave no opportunity to recover. A man, in order not to collapse in an avalanche at home, chooses a strategy of distancing himself. This is an attempt to protect the family from himself and a way of communicating with the world and himself. Gradually a habit is formed to live this way.

Depression is a barrier to the supply of feelings, positive and negative. It is a signal that it is time to reconsider something in your life, learn to make time daily for rest and joy, schedule work with rest in mind, increase your emotional competence, and learn to express feelings in your family.

Anger caused by depression will not go away overnight because the disease affects the complex areas of the brain responsible for mood stability and control of emotions and memory.

2. Anger without cause

Depression breaks through the armor of masculinity and emotional dryness. Men see depression as something shameful, inherent only in the weak. Bitterness and longing in men are transformed into anger, often for no good reason. The desire to hurt, physically or emotionally, to throw things, to yell at others for no reason are manifestations of depression.

Depression is accompanied by loss of strength and loss of joy in life. The man is extremely painful to bear the decline, there is no strength to communicate, so the man can push away loved ones. Finding no opportunities to improve his condition on his own, the man moves along the ancient evolutionary reactive path. This is aggression and blaming loved ones.

It is common for all people to blame others and show aggression when they feel bad for a long time. Such reactions, while painful for loved ones, are normal during depression. The body tries to regulate itself through emotional and affective reactions. It's worse if they don't and the person just shuts down. This means that the depressive episode drags on and passes into a chronic phase, the so-called major depression.

Many depressed men feel that they are losing their masculinity, so they try their best to act "manly," deliberately rude. But it takes a lot more courage to admit the problem.

In the early 1960s, American psychiatrist Aaron T. Beck developed a cognitive model of depression. He suggested that a person has a triad of negative thoughts: about himself, his world and the future. That is, a person faces his or her own powerlessness, since he or she is unable to change these three aspects. It is not easy to overcome powerlessness; it is inseparable from humility.

Anger (aggression) is energy to change. Finding himself in a situation of powerlessness, a man becomes angry in order to change something. Nothing works out for him. The man is highly charged, he is overwhelmed with feelings, so manifestations of anger are disproportionate to the situation. It seems to those around him that this anger has no reason. But there is a reason, and it is hidden from the angry person himself deep in the unconscious.

3. Stupid things to do

Men when depressed tend to do reckless things. This is again a manifestation of the "male code. When a man cannot find the strength and words to express his emotions, he does stupid things. The bad thing is that they are often dangerous for the man himself, as well as for those around him. Speeding, fighting, gambling, and, of course, alcohol.

Recklessness is committed for several reasons. First, it is the desire to replace negative emotions with new bright and strong events. Often these actions are caused by a decrease in responsibility for what is happening-it's that forgotten feeling from childhood when you could "mess up" and run away.

Second, depression is always associated with a loss of interest in life and its meaning. When a man sees no stimulus or motivation, reality is indifferent to him.

Thirdly, self-actualization is very important for men. He is pushed on adventures by the lack of faith in himself, the feeling of his own uselessness. His worries make the man walk on the edge and look for a way out of the depressive circle in order to feel the thirst for life again.

Everyone does something stupid from time to time, but if the period of recklessness drags on, it's worth seeing a doctor.

4. Dependence on alcohol and drugs

Approximately 20-25% of depressed men experience problems with alcohol or drugs. Alcohol seems like a way out of a difficult situation. A couple of shots, a shot of dopamine into the bloodstream, and already worries are gone and life seems to be getting better.

In fact, alcohol is a bad antidepressant. Problems only intensify, feeling worse. Sleep and moods deteriorate, stress accumulates, the desire to drink appears again. And so in a circle to infinity.

5. Fatigue

Depression can be recognized by a sleep disorder: you want to sleep, but you have insomnia until morning. Such a condition can drive a healthy person to the brink. The causes of sleep problems lie in the head. The brain does not rest at night, but continues to chase thoughts, most often negative. Stress grows. Insomnia leads to fatigue, loss of appetite, irritability, and anger. This is a definite reason to see a doctor.

6. Intolerance of others

A depressed man sees the world in black. People around him are annoying and infuriating, even those close to him and those he loved yesterday. You want to wrap yourself in a cocoon and send the whole world to hell. In some cases, depressed men not only push away their loved ones, but also blame them for their failures and problems.

Men show anger more freely. They are not taught from childhood that it is not nice to be angry, as is often the case with girls. That is why we encounter open displays of anger and anger in men more often.

Usually after directed outbursts of anger at one's relatives, one feels intense guilt. This is a clear sign that the anger has actually been redirected from the real object to a more convenient and accessible one. That is, on the loved ones.

It is very important to understand who this real object is; that is half the battle. Then it is important to realize why it is not safe to be angry at him, what prevents the manifestation of these feelings. The next step is to express your feelings. But where this is impossible and unsafe for whatever reason, it's helpful to let your imagination run wild. You can write and tear into little pieces an angry letter, talk to yourself in private about everything that worries you, go to the gym and beat the punching bag. There are a lot of methods, you can combine different ones to choose the most effective one. After that, there will be much less tension and quarrels in the family.

7. Decreased libido

Sex enhances mood, but as a treatment for depression in men is not suitable. Up to 75% of men experience libido problems due to depression. And this is one of the clear signals that something is wrong, especially at a young age. In this case, only going to a specialist can help.

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